Want to Hear a Gross Story?

I went out with the Sister missionaries tonight to be there for a lesson with a new convert in our ward. We all sat down in the living room and one of the sister's says "Want to hear something really gross?" And then the other sister companion says "Oh! Tell it quick!" and cringes. So we all brace ourselves for this story:

"We were coming out of the church building last night after dark, walking to our car, when we saw this giant spider on the sidewalk. It's body was this big (hold up her fingers in a big circle) and had these hairy toothpick-long legs. [We Missourians established it as a wolf spider. More common than I would ever like around here.]

We didn't want to risk it crawling up our legs if we tried to step on it, so we started throwing rocks at it. But we kept missing. And then THUMP! I nailed it on the head! We were so relieved we didn't get attacked by the giant spider.

And then, it literally exploded and all these baby spiders came pouring out. There were so many that the sidewalk was black with them and we screamed and ran. 

This morning we were back at the church and we saw one of the baby spiders, so we stepped on it, but we found no trace of the big spider." - and that was the end of her story

So I come home and tell Brett about the spider story and I get to the end where they didn't see any remains of the big spider and Brett casually says very knowingly "Yeah, because the babies devoured it."

BIGGEST FIT OF WILLIES IN MY ENTIRE LIFE HAPPENED RIGHT THERE!!

Now I’m laughing about it, but it still makes me cringe. If exploding roach eggs were enough (because that happens around here), the exploding cannibal spiders really kick the pumpkin.

Happy Halloween!